Rashmeet Kaur

Paradoxical Patterns of Ironical Existence

Greater Good.

I have always been a happy victim of choosing the greater good . It’s a big trouble at my age to make decisions that are ethical and eventually helpful for me in the future . Of all the things that I am , I can’t be hypocritical. What I say needs to be reflected in my actions as well . 

For years , I used to write articles about how our talent leaves the country and then goes on making the other nation great . When I reached that decision making point in my point , I faced some major confusion in my own head . I had aspirations for quite a few courses abroad . And yes there were admission confirmations as well . But something inside of me kept telling and shouting to me that I need to be here ! I need to change things here back in India . Maybe I can’t bring a massive change but atleast I can atleast die in peace that I contributed towards it . And my work with Honda Cars engages me with the supplier network and I work with my team on risk assessment ( IR and production risk)! Feels like I am contributing to a change in the manufacturing industry. It is also my dream to be here in this company and change the men to women ratio in manufacturing.

And more than anything Lean In , is a constant reminder in my life of the potential that exists in this country for moving and changing for the good ! 

I have and will always choose the greater good . 

Yes , I face criticism from my family , from my peers and from my seniors as well !
But the right ones do support.
After all the question isn’t who is going let me ? The question is who is going to stop me .

Single with you .

Single with you.Being in a relationship that gave me a box full of darkness , months of agony and slow process of losing myself for someone else, was the biggest blessing of my life.

I know today that one can find a person just like oneself and still feel empty. You can meet the most ideal man of your dreams who knows exactly what to say when you can’t seem to get up. You can meet that one person with whom you are most compatible and whose touch gives you warmth you never felt in your life . But if that man doesn’t have the guts to accept you and the fact he is in love with you or say he has no desire to be with you or calls working on the relationship a lot of fatigue, he ain’t the one, even though the moments you shared with him were the best moments of your life. That man expected me to change and I didn’t . The process of losing myself made me fall more in love with myself and my dreams, way more than I was before meeting him.
So this one is for the man with whom I might share my future .
I want to be single, feel single but with you.

I want us to sit on that see -saw late in the night and laugh like kids,

I want us to fight over the last piece of pizza and then kiss each other till we feel choked.

I want us to dance like no one is watching in the rains and back at our place with our lights off.

I want us to tickle each other and laugh in bed.

I want to pour a bucket full of water on you in the morning to wake you up , followed by amazing morning sex.

I want you to surprise me late in the nights when we go for a long drive in our pyjamas.

I want to come back home to you every evening and share a beer and a fight on what movie to watch. I want us to enjoy sunny sundays on grass in each other’s lap reading books.

I want us to party crazy on Saturday night with our own friends and come back home to each other to hug and sleep feeling safe in each other’s arm.

I want to be with a man who wishes to grow with me and doesn’t mind going the distance.

I want to be with a man who holds me like the most precious thing in the world and feels proud and not scared to share my life with.

I want to have a life of my own. I want you to have a life of your own, And I want us to share that and feed each other with passion when we lose ourselves.

I want us to be friends before anything.

I want to be your emergency contact and your resort when things go wrong

I want to build memories with you and cherish them forever.
Because being in a relationship that makes me anything less than who I am already is not what I deserve. 

I am bloody awesome single.

And that’s why I say I want to be single but with you.

Awesomeness is infectious.

I want to be awesome with you .

I dream to be alive with you.

Individuality.

Every morning I get up and smile as sunshine reflects from my messed up hair and morning face . I feel good about waking up knowing I have things to do ,someplace to be, classics to read , people to talk to , stories to write and enjoy this life on my own terms. Until you feel the same about your life , I am not sharing mine with you. If waking up by your side is not better than this , I would rather wake up this way for the rest of my life. 

I sing in the shower and dance wrapped in linens like a morning routine and laugh on all the amazing moments I have had in my life . I wouldn’t settle for you if you cannot make peace with my craziness and love me for it. I will keep dancing like this for years to come . If you try turning me into something more acceptable as normal in this world, I would rather go and live on my own , letting only the walls enjoy my happiness as I sway my body to my favorite rhythm .
I wouldn’t wear something just because its in trend. In a world full of trends, I wish to remain a classic. I don’t make an attempt at looking all sexy and dolled up. I love power and elegant dressing. If you complain about my look and try to turn me into a plastic trendy doll like any of the million others, I will myself hook you up with one. 
As I cross the streets, roads, parking areas and metro platforms, I see hundreds of couples sitting awkwardly lost in that world of that same old love . Either the guy is shouting at her for hugging another guy or the girl is complaining him for not giving her enough time. I am so genuinely sick of seeing couples whose life revolves just around each other. They are together for years making each other miserable year by year and not any minute better. Until we can challenge each other to grow out of our fears, push ourselves beyond our boundaries and have a life beyond what we share, I will prefer having no one to share it with. The relationship that we will share would be an integral part of our lives but only a part . Our entire lives cannot revolve around it. If that’s what you want, I vow to grow by your side till death makes us apart.
One loses one’s individuality in these relationship shenanigans and mistake it for love. 

I am different. I feel different. I desire to be this way my entire life. I love the idea of being in love but only if it takes me higher. There are too many ordinary things in life, love cannot be one of them. Until we both look like demigods together, I will prefer being on my own. Until we both inspire each other and others around us and make them jealous with what we share , I will prefer doing it all by myself. 
Before saying, I love you, one should have a definite and a strong idea of “I ” . Don’t be with someone who challenges your freedom and questions your individuality . 
Don’t please me with diamonds. I can buy them on my own .

Don’t propose me with a ring , its too mainstream.

Surprise me with a watch instead and I will surprise you with the passion and dedication with which I will love you.
Because , I don’t wish to lose my individuality for companionship. 

Standing Out.

People fear standing out . Everyone wants to be different but are still deep down scared of not being accepted for standing out . There are two reasons why we are scared of doing so. First , the fear of losing people that matter to us . Second, what if I am not able to sustain it ?For the first fear , the answer is to let go people who pull you back from being the best possible versions of yourselves . They are not friends , they are anchors and you deserve to be with people that motivate and inspire you to change your life for good .

For the latter one , the explanation is pretty deep. One has to understand that everything happens for a reason and accept it without making a big deal about it. You cannot always be on top. The task of a leader is to generate more leaders. So reach the top , lead by example and be happy to mentor those who are still on their way up. That will keep you different throughout.
So how does one stand out in today’s dynamic and competitive world .

1. World class language.

2. Posture and gestures.

3. Thirst and hunger for knowledge.

4. Leading with no title.

5. Amazing social media presence.

6. Respectable and elegant clothing . 

The New F****** Word

A lot of people keep asking me again and again why am I a feminist ? Most of them get pissed off even at the mention of this word . Feminism is the new *F* word , apparently . Its time I answered them all .
According to Wikipedia feminism is a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal to define ,establish and achieve equal political , economic , cultural , personal , social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment .
The first question fired on me is why women ? Why are they demanding their rights separately ? If they consider themselves as different based on their gender , they will be treated different and that won’t call for equality then .
The answer is simple . If a full grown man and a ten year old are given stools of equal height to look past a wall blocking both of them equally , will the kid be able to ever look beyond ? This is equality.

The kid has to be given a stool of greater height till the time he grows and is atleast the same height as the grown man. This is called justice.
Right now the women’s fight is for justice more than equality . That is why a special revolution for women .
Don’t you think reservation for women is unfair for men ?
A special coach for women in metro or local trains is an immediate solution to ease the growing safety concerns of women in our country. It should not be called as a feminist issue . The final picture should be men and women travelling in common coaches without women feeling unsafe. But till the time this Utopian vision is achieved we cannot put the lives of these girls in danger, hence ladies coach.
What not is feminism ?

A young girl coming up to a guy sitting in a metro and asking for a seat simply on the basis of being a girl is called unfair. Until and unless its something serious on human grounds , never give up your seat . ( All you boys out there ).

Be a human first and then feminist or whatever .
For promotion of women in fields of heavy engineering and electricals , reservation makes sense , but within limits. The limits of which should be constrained by equivalent technical know how and skill set. Otherwise it gets unfair .
Promotion of women in entrepreneurship makes even more sense . A gender suppressed for over centuries now needs to be awakened and told to come out of their cocoons. Its not easy as it is to come up with a venture of your own that any entrepreneur faces irrespective of the gender. To top that society barriers , family obligations and self developed constraint in women add up to the pool of problems. Promotion of this art in women means to help them overcome these additional barriers. After that we can find our own ways.
Despite all this equality awareness , don’t women still rule the dating game ?
Yes they do , specially in India. If parents stop nipping them in the bud, you and twenty other men wouldn’t have to compete to be with one woman .

No you are not obliged to pay the bills every time on a date just to be a gentleman . Equality in payments. On similar lines , why should a woman work for less salary for doing the same work ? That’s why feminism is needed to get them this right.

No, sleeping with you is not a favor . Women need and think of sex as much as men do . No you are not allowed to touch her without her consent . But once its mutual, the beauty of being physically compatible should be between the two of you . You have no right to record and upload it on youtube. But this happens every now and then and that’s why the world needs feminism.
Feminism is more on humanitarian grounds than favoritism.

50 % population is not a special interest group.

And for women like me who were blessed to be born into well aware families , gender equality is not a social barrier we face .

I am a feminist so that I can make similar favorable conditions for the unlucky ones .

I am leading the change I believe in.
And for me , personally, women who seek equality with men lack ambition.

Leader with no title.

As Robin Sharma says , Leadership has nothing to do with title on your business card or the size of your office.Leadership is not about how much money you make . Leadership is a philosophy .Its an attitude . Its a state of mind and is available to each one of us . Leaders do simple things differently . Their posture , language and dressing sense makes them stand out .
A leader’s success is measured by the lives he touches and his significance . We were built to shine . And without significance we have walked the planet in vain . The most important task of a leader is to create more leaders .
The first step to success is knowing yourself and first changing your life . Then the leader in each one of us should change one thing that made our personal journey to the top tougher, That is true leadership . Lead by example. Be the change you always wanted to see.
That is success !

Success is actually a creative pursuit and a reflection of healthy self esteem . Be successful and a leader with no title.

Dream On.

The idea of dreaming is underestimated . Every dreamer is first laughed upon . I believe dreaming is the bravest of all things . Not everyone can dare to dream big . It’s not everyone’s cup of tea to dream big even after failing . Hall of Fame is reserved only for those who can dare to dream every time they were pushed down on their knees. When things get hard they don’t look for someone or something to blame . They pick themselves up , analyze what went wrong and start yet again. It’s a test of one’s will power. If you don’t dream what its like to be there , how will you ever know what is that you truly deserve ? If you don’t play it in your head every night before sleeping how will you know the beauty of it when happens in front of your eyes years later .The catch here being , your real dreams won’t let you sleep. They will make you get up midway between those long lazy night and make you work irrespective of the hour . Dreaming is the first step to success and most of us fail right there . The rest of the journey is fueled by your passion and dedication.

So shine on you crazy diamond.

Shine on.

Dream on.

Luck, Destiny and Hardwork.

The debate between destiny and hard work has been on for centuries .We have heard two different statements for almost all our lives now : ” The best way to predict the future is to create it ” & “It was meant to be ” .
I believe that everything happens for a reason . And how we react to that reason is according to what we are destined to arrive at eventually. We often stand at fork situations and brainstorm a lot to take a decision. Taking a decision means never looking back because if you do , the time you gave to thinking about it initially becomes waste . Sometimes along the journey we forget the reason behind why we took that road . There is no free lunch in this life . One has to bear the cost for anything and everything that has to be done for survival. Hardships , setbacks and obstacles might bring us down to our knees and that is when we feel like looking back . In that exact moment , the grass on the other side looks greener . We fail to realize that on our journey on the other road we would have encountered disappointments as well. So us taking this decision on those fork roads was destined . We were destined to be on this journey . But why? On what basis? Acceptance of this takes a lot of time and understanding. The answer to this is again destiny. We are destined to reach a place . We are destined to accomplish certain things in life. A lot of people believe that destiny leads us to places of our personal interest . They are never of personal interest , rather they are sometimes even better than what we dream for ourselves.
In all this complex algorithm of destiny doesn’t hardwork take the back end ? It most certainly does and that is why 99% of people fail to hit their targets !

So what does an innocent teenager or a young adult do when he fails to understand this concept ?
I have a very simple advice for them.
Circumstances make a human. We are the choices we make daily . Once a decision is taken , never look back, have faith that everything will fall into its place and keep working hard . Your luck will elevate your performance in direct proportion to your commitment and hard work . And if it doesn’t ,simply accept that this was meant to happen to prepare you for a bigger situation in the future .
It’s easier said that done. Patience and persistence both are needed to survive this hack to the algorithm of destiny and luck.

Dear Dad.

I am 21 , well educated , strong headed and a free willed woman today.I can’t thank you enough for not treating me like a princess. 
Thank you for not telling me to rest and give up on my dreams just because I am a girl .

Thank you for allowing me to fall so that I can learn to get up on my own.

Thank you for always putting me in my place instead of pampering me.

Thank you for all the harsh criticism that eventually made me reach for greater heights,

Thank you for being the example of gender equality at home,

Thank you for slapping me when I did something horribly wrong,

Thank you for those late night reality checks to keep me upbeat .

Thank you for listening to my opinions even when they were unpolished,

Thank you nurturing the leader in me by allowing me to take risks,

Thank you for telling me I am a fighter and not a doll ,

Thank you for silently standing by my side , sheltering me only when needed and making me hero than being my hero.
Because not every girl is born to be a princess, some are born without a tag. They are born to live fiercely and change the world for good. It takes a great man like you to nurture a women so that she becomes a leader. You made efforts for 20 years to pump my passion and feed my hunger for knowledge , and my dream is to be that beacon of hope and change for every visionary women out there. Every woman who wasn’t blessed with a dad like you . Come dad, lets lead by change.

Fearless.

I have feared a lot of things in my life. I have feared failing , I have feared not being loved and most of all, I have feared being alone my entire life. As I grow up , I realize that the more I fear, the more I die everyday. These fears have been holding me back all my life. I take a step in a regard only when there is a back up available. I have realized lately that I was wrong all my life. Living life on my own terms comes at the cost of facing my fears , daily . I have to be ready to lose it all in a fraction of second, if I wish to have it all, someday not very far from today. I don’t want to die wishing if I had this or that! I wish to live in the moment and live a life that I will remember. Well, this is not any rebel dialogue with a touch of hidden immaturity in it. If I am risking to live on the edge, I am willing to bear the repercussions as well. So what if I lose that job? So what I fail in yet another subject? So what he doesn’t love me back? So what they can never understand me? So what if I get caught? A life is lived, only when it is without any fears. But it does scare the shit out of me! It makes my heart beat faster and makes my body numb. So what? I am only human. I do it anyway. I wish to spread love all my life. I wish to liberate people from their chains. I wish to live a life in true sense, fearless and liberated.
” One day you will leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember. “

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